I KNOW I KNOW, MY MADE ME LAUGH MONDAY POST IS LATE. Not just a little late. There is officially only two more hours of being Monday. Please forgive me?

For starters:

Got a Spare Tire Lion Around?

Get it – lion/laying? As lame as that joke was, the picture still cracks me up. At first I thought it was just a caravan full of people that were getting stalked by a couple of male lions. You know, the usual stuff.

At second glance, I notice three things. They have a flat tire, and the driver seems oblivious to both that and the felines.  One lion checks out the damage “why yessssss, you guys have a bad flat.” And the second lion is being helpful and grabbing the spare.

Idiot Presses the Big Red Button at Gas Station

Have you ever wondered what happens when you press that big red shiny button while you’re pumping gas? No? (I’m still asking myself there’s a button?!). Well, turns out you won’t have to be the one to press it, since someone couldn’t control their curiosity any longer and did it for you.

I’M ONE WEEK FROM TWENTY, AND THERE ARE SOME SPECIFIC THINGS I WOULD LIKE. Now, before I go asking for the snazzy new iPhone, the shiny new car and the typical list of “I can’t afford this so can you get it for me?” stuff, I want to say something.

We all know that I’m a freeloader as far as healthcare, car insurance and rent goes, which leaves me with loads of dough to spend on whatever catches my fancy. But that’s not the point. Birthdays and Christmas aren’t about outdoing our outspending someone. It’s about celebration and the meaning behind the gift. I keep getting asked, “What do you want for your birthday?” but I already have everything I want (see my Two Weeks from Twenty post).

So what am I asking for to commemorate this monumental day? Here is a list of ten things that are all under five dollars, but would be priceless to me.

You really can buy my love – for free. Or at least, for cheap.

1: Homemade Fat Sticks. Mom, this one is your gift to me, because nobody knows how to make them, and even if they did, yours are always the best.

2: Cheesecake, but not just any scrumptious cheesecake-y confection. I want the store bought, boxed goodness also known as JELLO brand cheesecake.

3: A back rub. Bonus Birthday Love points if you give me a foot rub.

4: Dollar movie. Doesn’t matter if it is at the theater, or just your every day Red Box movie. Either way, I am sneaking in an enormous bag full of dollar store candy and canned soda.

5: Fridge magnets. I have a white fridge, hundreds of photos, and only three magnets. Get it?

6: Picture frames. About four of them – 5×7 frame size. I love the colors black, silver and grey, but I’m not going to argue if you get me some funky blue frame with polka dots. I have sneakers now for heaven sakes. I’m open to new styles.

7: Undershirts. If you go to that one Asian owned, Mexican run store that I can’t remember the name of – oh wait – Gen X, you can get me a new undershirt for five bucks. Size medium please.
Unless you’re shopping at Wal-Mart. Then please shop for my size in toddlers. Or whatev. (Refer to the shirt size fiasco here)

8: Headbands. I’m rocking them lately.

9: Mixing bowls, as cheap as they come.

10: Car visor CD holder-thingy. I’ve had mine for two years, which is possibly the longest I’ve owned anything. It is now falling apart and I’m not sure how much longer it will be able to restrain fifteen cds from falling on my head. And as long as we’re talking about CDs, you can always give me a mix CD of music you think I would like. I like surprises.

Don’t worry, I love the dollar store and all its merchandise. Feel free to get me anything from there. Yes, even bubbles, dog treats (not for me), junk food, and/or yard ornaments.

Scratch the yard ornaments. I’ll kill the first person that gifts me with a gnome. They give me the creeps.

TWELVE YEARS AGO WE WERE IN A DUSTY BACK ROOM, all crammed onto metal chairs in front of a paper backdrop. Machelle was only two or three at the time, but she was grinning like a natural born camera ham. I was about eight, with long blond hair that hung down my back. Sam had bangs, Ashley had glasses. Mom had a different shade of hair, and Dad had more hair overall (sorry Dad. I love your hair just as it is).

Oh how things have changed.

We’ve all outgrown our bangs. Ashley and Sam got married and have children of their own. I’m living in my own apartment. Machelle is in High School and is commonly mistaken for being older than me, even with a five year gap between us. Mom and Dad have moved to a different house that is their pride and joy. It was my dad’s Grandfathers house, so it means a lot to have it stay in the family.

But some things never change. We are still a family, even if we have extended family now. So when Mom told me she wanted pictures of her four daughters for Mothers Day, I started scheming and made an appointment with Kiddie Kandids. Ashley and I had already talked about getting new ones taken (the last sister pictures we had done, I was about twelve).

But then another thought occured to me. We should have our parents there. Twelve years is a long time to go by when all you have is snapshots from cheap Kodak cameras to show the passing of time and the growth we’ve all went through.

The photo shoot went perfectly. Nobody fought (would we do that? Nawww), everybody came and everyone smiled. Best yet – I haven’t been disowned for making everyone do this.

Without further ado, here is my family.

From top left: Sam, Machelle, Ashley, Dad, Mom, Aubrey (Hey! That’s me!)

I’m glad the photographer thought to do different things, like photos of all of us together, mom and dad alone, and then some of us daughters. Mom doesn’t like this one, but us girls love it! She had to hurry and snap it before either parent shied out and changed their mind.

The four daughters all together. Can I get an “awww”?

This next one is probably my favorite picture of us. I’m particularly glad that my hair didn’t do anything funky, my eyes weren’t going in two different directions  – which I will explain in another post – and my collared shirt wasn’t too preppy.

Funny thing about my shirt. I’ve had this whole thing planned out for two whole weeks. For two weeks I’ve called everyone and told them these exact things:

• Be there at 11:45.

• Wear a white tee-shirt, with blue jeans. We’ll take off our shoes.

• Bring something for the pot luck.

and…BE THERE AT 11:45. My family is notorious for saying we’ll be somewhere on time, and showing up hours later. And no Ash, I’m not just talking about you and Niel. We all do this.

Surprisingly, no one was late.

But back to the tee-shirt. So I have it all arranged, pictures are in twenty minutes, and DEAR GOD MY WHITE SHIRT DOES NOT FIT. Remind me to try stuff on before I wear it to something as monumental as our once-every-decade pictures. I’m the planner, and I’m the only one unprepared! The shirt in the pictures was compliments of my shiny silver Visa, right after I got to the mall. Thank heavens for clothing stores in close proximity to photo shops.

Finally, a close up of all of our faces. After looking at this, we all laughed. The photographer had the two shortest sit in the front (Ashley and I) and the two tallest in the back. If we were to  go in the order we were born, it would go Ashley, Sam, myself and then Machelle.

Afterwards, we all met at my house for a pot luck. I gave an Emmy Award winning speech thanking everyone for coming, participating, chipping in financially and bringing food for the pot luck. I wasn’t joking. Thank you everyone. I’m so proud to be able to call you my family.

“THE TERM NOSTALGIA DESCRIBES A LONGING FOR THE PAST, OFTEN IN IDEALIZED FORM”.

The nostalgia hit me today as I picked up my favorite dinner of pulled pork, a hot wheat roll and some hush puppies from Lon’s BBQ. It wasn’t a place I ever ate at during my high school years, but my old campus was so close that it was just beckoning me to go and reminisce.

A lonely meal is not what anyone wishes for, but it was just what I needed. For the first time in two years, I stepped back onto those grounds – alone.

Just me. No cell phone. No pack of friends. Just Aubrey (before I was AubreyMo), sitting alone on a cold stone bench in the breeze and reflecting on the days of being a freshmen. I could almost hear my heartbeat from six years back, when I took those first steps onto that big yellow bus and arrived at High School. I can hear my big jolly German teacher in my head as he preys on my shyness and makes me speak in front of everyone, trying to encourage me to come out of my shell.

Sitting solitary, memories that come to me are sporadic and broken. I start questioning myself was that building there before? Did I really walk this path every day? Where did that tree come from? The memories only got more fresh, more vivid as I brushed off my hands and walked around campus. I received a few questioning glances and I imagine them thinking, “who’s the new girl?”. Well, that new girl is an old girl, and she is homesick.

With nostalgia, it’s too easy to see only the good and not the bad when you are reflecting. I had to keep reminding myself of things I didn’t like about school – peer pressure, catty girls, overbearing teachers, creepy kids that stalk you in the halls – but even telling myself these things did nothing to soothe the longing in my heart.

So many memories assault me. These are the doors that I used to take to Gym. This is where I was walking when I blew my crush a kiss. This is where I was given twelve red roses when a guy asked me out. This is where me and my crew used to eat lunch. This is where I’d hide from teachers when we didn’t want to go to the auditorium for meetings. That’s the building I used to clean when I worked as a janitor, man I’m glad I’m done with that. I want to go back in my ceramics class and make a vase. I want to redo my math tests, take more foreign languages, study English. Wonder how the library looks now and how many new books they have…

So {this} is what they mean when they say, “Enjoy it now, because one day when you’re older you’ll look back and miss it”. Does twenty count as older? Because I’m looking back. And I’m missing.

IT STARTED WHEN A LITTLE ROBIN LANDED ON OUR WINDOWSILL AT WORK LAST MONDAY. We thought it was cute when he started hopping up and down. Well, it was cute for about five minutes until we realized that the bird, or “Seymour” as we call him (get it, see more because he can see himself in the window, or at least that’s what we assume) has kept at this for four days now. So Ryan, our creative director made this video and sent it to us all.