THIS HANDSOME MAN JUST GOT BACK FROM RAFTING THE YAMPA RIVER. He said it was 40 degrees and hailing, they hit some pretty bad rapids and almost flipped, his tent leaked and his friend snored, but that he had a blast, the food was good, the company was great (company as in friends, and company as in company – here is where we pause and be jealous that Kevin’s work took them all river rafting).

He returned dirty and smelling like camping (a mixture of sweat, dust and firewood, sexy. No really.) He told me that he’d missed me. He really, really missed me! And I missed him too – I mean, I had fun running around for a few nights with my gang of girlfriends and sisters, staying up until midnight and eating mac and cheese two meals in a row just because I could, but it’s just too quiet here without my Kevin to argue with and talk to and tease.

And let’s not talk about sleeping alone. I had nobody to put my cold feet on and the dog – MY dog, whom I took in and loved and nurtured, wouldn’t even sleep on the bed with me, yet he slept with Kevin all weekend once while I was gone. The dog is a dirty, rotten traitor (and Kevin wonders why I like cats).

Welcome home love.

I’m glad you’re back.

This is Kevin. The hope, the ambition, the joy, the wonder, the goals and dreams of the future.

Dogs have hopes and dreams too, okay? Roll with it.

(Not that I’m calling him a dog. Or a wiener. Well, yes to the last one but only when he steals my pillow in the morning and when he drinks the last Mountain Dew in the fridge).

(And when he bites his nails).

(QUIT BITING YOUR NAILS!).

On the flip side, this is me.

Ornery. Lazy. Content. Protective of my space. And yes, technically a cougar – because I’m six months older than him.

So we are, metaphorically speaking – the dog and cat. Learning to live in the same space, adjusting to each others habits and hoping to exist in the same space with the least amount of conflict possible.

Which, I’ll admit. It’s a bit more challenging than I thought it would be, this whole, “coexist and get-along” thing. Probably because I got a little too much sass in me. Probably because I’m stubborn. Probably because of a lot of things – men are from Mars, women are from Venus, why can’t he understand that I hate computers after five PM? Why can’t she just learn to try new foods? When will he put his dirty clothes in the hamper? When will she actually wash the laundry?

When the real problem is just that we think differently. He’s always looking ahead, I’m either looking behind (hi, past!) or in the moment. So we butt heads sometimes. Who doesn’t?

I tell you these things because well, I’m married. And you told me to blog. So I’m here, telling you about our lives, comparing us to animals. (This is the content I give you after two weeks of absence? For shame.)

My point is there really isn’t a point to this post, other than men are strange creatures, and they probably think the same thing about us felines females.

He seemed pretty happy with it.

(Can you spot me mulurking in that picture?)

No cards, chocolates, or other gifts from me. What can I say, I’m awesome and thoughtful like that. And can we all just say a quick amen and thank you that guys don’t get offended over that kind of stuff like we would.

Well, he was super thoughtful and got me this beauty.

Oh yes he did. I love it.

And may I point out – even though these were given to each other for Valentine’s Day, we didn’t give them to each other ON Valentine’s Day. In fact, on Lover’s Day, I lounged around in sweats and ate junk food on the couch while he cleaned the entire kitchen, and then we ran out and waited about two hundred hours for him to get Cafe Rio, and returned and watched Valentine’s Day on TV – after which he went upstairs in the office while I continued to lounge and watch Harry Potter Six (sidenote, I am in love with HBO. Just not after dark. Had to clarify).

Valentine’s Day is totally different this time around being married than it was when we were dating, even though he did good last year (we went to Outback, watched Valentine’s Day in theaters and he bought me a silver bracelet that says, “I love you babe” on it, which I was kind of pissed about because I had my heart set on an engagement ring. . .) But being married, I feel like we make more of an effort to continually show each other that we appreciate each other, so spending this holiday at home was the best Valentine’s Day I ever had – without the need for roses and dining out. Take that corporate holiday, we’re gonna put you out of business!

It seems I’ve fallen into some sort of a rut.

And this is not cool.

You know what would fix it? Another cruise! I’d love to go for another seven days of only wearing these:

Even if the bathroom was tiny.

Don’t mind the cleavage. You’ll be seeing a lot of it in these Lost Chronicle posts. And it’s all fake!

What, it’s called brutal honesty, okay? Or as my mom calls it, TMI. I just didn’t want you to be super jealous or anything. Glad we could clear that up.

I’d love to go back to finding these little guys on our bed at night.

And taking pictures of random crap.

And I definitely wouldn’t mind throwing on a robe to go out on the deck and watch this every morning either.