Finding the Truth
YES.
I did have a creepy, Thirteen-or-soish kid come up to me at the mall today and ask, “Do you know how to find the truth?”
No.
I do not know who in the heck this kid was.
Yes.
I had a reply. “Um. . .It’s in my pocket”.
No.
I am not sure what I meant by that. I was too busy being perturbed.
Yes.
I immediatedly turned foot and left, the little creepo and his friends were weirding me out.
No.
He did not like my answer. “That’s sooooooo gay!“. I should’ve said what my father would have “Ask a stupid question. . .”
Yes.
Did I parade wave at them as I walked off? You betcha.
Maybe.
Maybe what I meant by “the truth is in my pocket” was all figurative. There was absolutely nothing in my pocket, other than two bobby pins. Bobby pins are not notorious for being truth-holders. They already have their hands full (ok so they don’t have hands. We’ll stop with the technicalities). So truth had to be something I bring to the table as an individual. Truth is whatever I want it to be.
Yes.
I used this excuse to the fullest, when I found The.Best.Pants.Ever. I just convinced myself that there is a purpose to buying new pants, so I could have the best pockets to hold my truths.
No.
I did not mean to find them. They found me. I usually don’t clothes shop but they were there on my way out, brown and rugged and inviting. They are cargo pants. I have an obsession with cargo pants.
Yes.
I’m wearing them right as I type this. I’ll probably be wearing them after work tomorrow, and I can guarantee that I’ll be wearing them to work on Friday.
No.
I see nothing wrong with that last statement.
Yes.
I love that the size on The Best Pants Ever says medium, when a pair of jeans from the same store were a size NINE I’ve never worn and I had problems getting into them. Where in the world the attack of the ghetto booty came from, I have no idea.
No.
I’m not taking a picture of me in them, as I can’t figure out a good way to take a picture without the pants looking huge and my legs looking too long, and I’m not going to take one of my junk-in-the-trunk in the mirror. No one should have to see that.
Yes.
I have finally blogged about the size of my pants, just like I said I might.
No.
This post has no point other than to tell you about The Truth (against tabacco?) Kid and my finding of the sweet awesome pants.
Yes.
I would like you to leave a comment, stating what you think “Finding the truth” means. I never did ask.
Humor me.
I think I’ve found the truth…the truth is that I am obsessed with your blog which is why I always comment on it. The truth is I should be packing. The truth is Ava wants to play Nickjr.com so I must go….By the way how in the crap did you get that arrow going through the NINE?
Take the blue pill, Neo…
The Truth: Im a size 9 (X’s 2). I havent been asked about “the truth” since the last time I went to the Manti Pageant. Truth is I need to take Aspen to it, since I used to love it so much. Truth is Im glad shes feeling better, I kept thinking she was going to have a seizure last night since her fever was so high and wouldnt break. And the Truth to that is I know I can handle 911 calls with febril seizures better than I could handle dealing with my own. I kept thinking that all night, but didnt have to live it.
Truth? Who knows. lol
Rach – I’m glad you like my posts! That pretty much made my day, or more like my week. I’m so addicted to your comments that it’s probably unhealthy. Good luck with packing! (to get the slash through the nine, you’ll see a box right next to the Bold and Italics tabs when you are writing. It has a ABC with a dash through them, so you just click this button. Hope it helps!)
Matt – You crack me up. For real.
Ash – We are totally going to the Manti Pageant this year. Good on ya for the reminder. I’m glad Aspen is feeling better. I don’t blame you for not wanting to deal with possible seizures. I’m the same way with pets – I can act perfectly calm and handle the situation if it’s someone elses pet, but if it’s mine that is hurt I freak out. I can only imagine how this feels with the maternal instinct thrown in the mix. The anxiety over “is she hurt, does she feel ok?” must be so hard.
Kam – the only truth I know is the Pants of Awesomeness are indeed awesome. And that Fat Sticks rule.
[...] Finding the Truth = By far the most popular one, this is where some punk kid ran up and asked if I knew where to find the truth. It also includes the Pants of Awesomeness. I guess I can finally post a photo of them now. [...]
Pingback by Congrats | Musings of Mo — December 5, 2009 @ 11:26 am