Gifts of Awesome and the Diva Dog

(Thank you to those responsible).

Kevin said I can post a picture of it as long as I inform you it’s “the place where the magic happens.” And it is, if you consider “magic” the fact that I can go to sleep under the (500 thread count!) sheets and wake up with half of the material on the floor and the other half tangled around my scrawny legs like I’m Houdini in a great sleep escape, while my hair attempts to imitate Medusa and mouth dribbles out drool. See what you have to look forward to Kevin? And I didn’t even mention the makeup that by early morning has went from eye liner to black eye. It’s like you’re marrying a rabid raccoon.

Sexy.

Also. I used to make fun of people that sleep with pillows between their legs.

That was before, when all had was a twin bed and ONE pillow.

Now?

I totally sleep with a pillow between my knees. And it’s the firmer pillow – the one I think we intentionally bought for Kevin? Sorry, Kevin.

(But not really).

And then there is this thing. This huge, ginormous…

NO not the speakers. Let me finish.

I’m talking about the TV. My parents (bless them) walked in with this literally two minutes after Kevin and I finished setting up all our electronics on an entertainment stand his brother loaned us. My parents were all, “We’re sorry! We’ll take it back!” and I was like what, no. It’s a TV! And it’s HUGE! And it’s FREE! So Kevin and I ran out and bought a new entertainment stand. And if you’re looking closely at the picture, don’t judge our movie choices. It was a PG 13 movie! Just don’t ask me what it was. The only thing I remember is that redbox made some good money off of us for not returning it. Redbox: 1. Us: minus 5.

And then.

Then I got a call from my mom saying someone mailed us a big package and she’s pretty sure it’s a vacuum because, well? It says vacuum on it and who the hell would send us that?

My friend. A very good, very generous friend (SERIOUSLY PEOPLE STOP. Thank you cards aren’t going to cover all of my appreciation for your friendship alone. I can’t handle the gifts too!)

But wait. Bottom right corner. . . what is that?

Oh you know, just my helper.

Someone’s gotta help me. I can’t take photos of vaccuums when I could take photos of big brown eyes, and big ugly teeth.

I swear. He kills me.

Since he decided to be so in the way, I threw on his new harness and snapped some shots.

For the record?

Kevin hates the new harness.

It sparkles.

Glitters.

Glams.

Blings.

But I still bought it because Ollie needed a new one.

And even though he hated it, Kevin let me buy it but only because I threatened him that if he didn’t let me buy this one I was getting the bright pink one and then he would look FAB-U-LOUS! What neutered dog doesn’t want to look like a Diva?

Model on, Ollie. Model on.