I May Not be Free, But I Sure am Cheap

I’M ONE WEEK FROM TWENTY, AND THERE ARE SOME SPECIFIC THINGS I WOULD LIKE. Now, before I go asking for the snazzy new iPhone, the shiny new car and the typical list of “I can’t afford this so can you get it for me?” stuff, I want to say something.

We all know that I’m a freeloader as far as healthcare, car insurance and rent goes, which leaves me with loads of dough to spend on whatever catches my fancy. But that’s not the point. Birthdays and Christmas aren’t about outdoing our outspending someone. It’s about celebration and the meaning behind the gift. I keep getting asked, “What do you want for your birthday?” but I already have everything I want (see my Two Weeks from Twenty post).

So what am I asking for to commemorate this monumental day? Here is a list of ten things that are all under five dollars, but would be priceless to me.

You really can buy my love – for free. Or at least, for cheap.

1: Homemade Fat Sticks. Mom, this one is your gift to me, because nobody knows how to make them, and even if they did, yours are always the best.

2: Cheesecake, but not just any scrumptious cheesecake-y confection. I want the store bought, boxed goodness also known as JELLO brand cheesecake.

3: A back rub. Bonus Birthday Love points if you give me a foot rub.

4: Dollar movie. Doesn’t matter if it is at the theater, or just your every day Red Box movie. Either way, I am sneaking in an enormous bag full of dollar store candy and canned soda.

5: Fridge magnets. I have a white fridge, hundreds of photos, and only three magnets. Get it?

6: Picture frames. About four of them – 5×7 frame size. I love the colors black, silver and grey, but I’m not going to argue if you get me some funky blue frame with polka dots. I have sneakers now for heaven sakes. I’m open to new styles.

7: Undershirts. If you go to that one Asian owned, Mexican run store that I can’t remember the name of – oh wait – Gen X, you can get me a new undershirt for five bucks. Size medium please.
Unless you’re shopping at Wal-Mart. Then please shop for my size in toddlers. Or whatev. (Refer to the shirt size fiasco here)

8: Headbands. I’m rocking them lately.

9: Mixing bowls, as cheap as they come.

10: Car visor CD holder-thingy. I’ve had mine for two years, which is possibly the longest I’ve owned anything. It is now falling apart and I’m not sure how much longer it will be able to restrain fifteen cds from falling on my head. And as long as we’re talking about CDs, you can always give me a mix CD of music you think I would like. I like surprises.

Don’t worry, I love the dollar store and all its merchandise. Feel free to get me anything from there. Yes, even bubbles, dog treats (not for me), junk food, and/or yard ornaments.

Scratch the yard ornaments. I’ll kill the first person that gifts me with a gnome. They give me the creeps.