I Wish

I’M SITTING ALONE ON DALE’S COUCH, eating Hershey’s chocolate without enthusiasm and feeling sorry for myself in general.

Sorry that I can’t be a better person.

Daughter.

Sister.

Worker.

Girlfriend.

Friend.

Sorry that I get so easily frustrated and have the tendancies to just give up. Sorry that I have a tender heart and a weak spirit. Sorry that I can’t make everyone happy.

Just plain stinkin’ sorry.

And I don’t like feeling this way for myself. Self pity brings about loathing and self hate. It’s just a vicious cycle going on, that another piece of chocolate doesn’t quite fix. You know what does fix it? When someone else catches onto my bad mood and pulls this face.

When even my dog pouts, it’s time to change my attitude, starting by listening to I Wish by Point of Grace.

“I wish I didn’t feel so helpless

I wish I didn’t act so selfish

I wish I didn’t wring my hands night and day

My hair was a little bit smoother

My jeans fit a little bit looser

And I always knew the right things to say

And I wish I wouldn’t hide what’s been going on inside

And I wish you wouldn’t get scared and run away

I wish I was doing better

With all the things that matter,

I guess I got some learning to do. . .”