I HAD EVERY INTENTION TO FILL THIS SPACE WITH SO MANY HONEYMOON PICTURES AND STORIES that you’d want to break my computer two days into it just to get me to stop posting. I mean, come on, I was tweeting and Facebooking and picture uploading after the wedding right up until my phone lost service when we stepped on the cruise, and I had awesome stuff scheduled for the whole week we were away. But then we came back and those good intentions to post got pushed behind the pile of all the crap (“crap” is probably not an appropriate term for all the gifts we were given) that needed to be opened, put away, organized, cleaned…not to mention the piles of my junk we had to dejunk so he could have some room to actually claim as his.

So for the past five days I’ve been overloaded and overwhelmed and any other word that starts with “over”, so I took a break from the web so I could get my real life in order. I’m finally to a point where I don’t feel like I’m losing my mind – as much. And yes, you will still hear all the fun honeymoon stories like the time Kevin got his face licked by a parrot and I got sat on by a donkey. All things in time.

But last night!

Let me set the scene a little bit.

It was around 8:30. Dinner was hot and ready on our plates, and I’d convinced Kevin to suffer through watching 27 Dresses with me. We were barely getting to the good parts when we heard something fall over by the fireplace.

“What the hell was that?! Did you hear that? Something just fell,” Kevin turned towards me in the dark.

I told him that yes I’d heard it and whatever it was, it was definitely INSIDE with us. I have better eyesight than he does at night and I could see the thing as it scurried up the fireplace screen. I jumped up and turned on the light, expecting to see a mouse. What we found instead?

A bat.

A big, hairy, ugly bat that had flown down our chimney, weaseled it’s way through the closed vent and crawled, creep-like, up our screen.

This totally trumps the two half-dollar sized wolf spiders Kevin found and killed on our porch a few weeks back.

“IT’S A BAT! A BAT IS IN OUR HOUSE. IN. OUR. HOUSE!” I was screaming and laughing and just freaking out in general. I like bats, but I don’t want to touch them or move them. All I could keep thinking about was the freak accident from a few years ago where a bat fell out of a tree in pure daylight, fell on a baby, then BIT HIM AND GAVE HIM RABIES. The entire families had to get rabies shots in the stomach.

Gag.

So we started planning on how we were going to get the damn thing out of our house (don’t give me that look, you’d swear too if you had a bat in your house). I found a pair of old riding gloves and threw them on, fully knowing I wasn’t going to actually grab the thing with my hands.

Double gag.

So what did I do instead? I gave the gloves to Kevin, handed him an old pillow case and kicked back with the camera to document it.

Only for you, Internet.

Enjoy the video, and may your house be pest free!

Love, The Officially Freaked Out Newlyweds

So we all know what Twitter is, right? Stupid question. Well long before I used Twitter, I used a social site called Plurk. It was one of the first social sites I ever experimented with, and I was taken by surprise by how many real, true, honest-to-goodness friends I made on that site. Carrie and Chris Cotter are a shining example of the amazing people you can meet when you open yourself up online. Enjoy, this is a hilarious read!

I want to start off by saying Congrats to Aubrey and Kevin. Even though I have never met them, (I met Aubrey on Plurk) I feel like I know them. I consider them both great friends and I look forward to watching them grown as a couple.

Aubrey asked if I would write up a guest blog post while she is away having a blast on her honeymoon and I am honored that she is posting this. I debated a while on what to talk about and decided I was not going to do a serious post. Those can be boring and repetitive. (I can not promise this won’t be boring and repetitive.)

I thought I would share one of the things I struggled with early on in my marriage. Sharing a bed with another person.

Growing up, I had two older brothers so I had always had a bed all to myself. It wasn’t until I married my husband Chris that I had to share not only space but also my beloved covers. Let me give you a little background before I get into the story.

Chris and I met in sixth grade. We were both in band and spent the next six years of school hanging out and becoming friends. It wasn’t until about January of our senior year that I realized I liked him as more than a friend. I was terrified to tell him how I felt for fear that he would run the other way. The second half of that year our friendship really began to grow. We spent almost every day together. If he had feelings for me he was great at hiding them. I fought the urge to tell him how I felt and tried giving little hints. Guys don’t usually pick up on subtle hints. We graduated and I decided it was now or never, I had to tell him how I felt. I couldn’t do it to his face so I sent him an email. (This was not near as common back then) He didn’t reply for a long time, I mean DAYS! I thought I had ruined the best thing to ever happen to me. We were still hanging out like we always had, but he never mentioned the email. Finally, I would say a week later, he was taking me home and said “You want to go out with me”. My heart leaped and I said “YES!” The date was June 14, 2001. I can even remember exactly where we were. That began a magical time in both our lives. We had many ups and downs in our relationship but ever down made us a stronger couple.

Chris and I were married a year later on May 18, 2002. Eight years and a completely different state later, we have two amazing little boys, Jordan 8 and Isaac 8 months. God has truly blessed us.

Now for the story, As I said before I was not use to sharing a bed with anyone. I am the type of person that needs my covers. I was not excited about having to share them. Chris and I make a perfect match because he requires no covers! He uses the sheet and I take the cover. Life is good!

The other hard part about sharing a bed is if your partner snores, talks in their sleep, or has nightmares. I can recall one night in particular that Chris had a nightmare. We still laugh about it to this day. I asked his permission to tell this story and he was reluctant but decided that it might give everyone a good laugh.

We had just gone to bed. Chris can fall asleep in a matter of seconds. His head hits that pillow and while I am trying to talk to him about stuff that happened that day, he falls fast asleep. Yes, my talking puts him to sleep…It takes me a long time. I lay there thinking about everything that I didn’t get done that day and what needs to be done the next day. I was still very much awake when Chris sat up and slapped the bed. I’m not talking a little tap, he hit the bed as hard as he could and said “Scooby no!!” Scooby was a beautiful dog that Chris had growing up. When he hit the bed it scared me to death. Once I caught my breath and thanked God that I was not laying on that part of the bed, I knew Chris was still asleep so I started asking questions. I said “What’s wrong?” Chris said “Scooby tried to take my money”. Me, “What money?” Chris “My five bucks. He was still very upset and mad at his poor dog. It was at that point that Chris woke up. He told me that in his dream Scooby had jumped up in his truck and grabbed his money off the seat. I told him what he had done and we had a great laugh. I learned that night that Chris can talk to me in his sleep and there are many times when I can’t sleep that I will ask him questions just to see what he says. The great part is, he doesn’t remember it the next day. I have not asked for money or presents, but i have considered it!

Aubrey and Kevin, my advice to you is, put an extra blanket on the bed in case one of you is a cover hog. Buy a pair of ear plugs in case one of you snores. Buy a recorder to record the answers to the questions you might ask your sleeping spouse And look forward to the funny dreams that are ahead.

God bless you both!

You know what I’m going to ask you to do. Go, read, and comment on Chris and Carrie‘s sites!