Say Ahhh. . .

THUM-THUMP, THUM-THUMP, THUM-THUMP counts my frantic heart as it drags out the seconds. My breathing is shallow, my palms are turning clammy and I’m staring to doubt the deodorant that I put on this morning. The paper crinkles under me as I nervously shift, kicking my feet in rhythm with my pulse. Faintly I hear the sound of a clip board being pulled out, papers being sifted through and finally, the door knob turning.

The doctor is in.

I’ve always dreaded doctors, and I know the first comment here is going to be, “oh honey, I dread them too”. Truth is, nobody wakes up wanting to go to the doctor. Nobody likes when someone shoves a large Popsicle stick down your throat, getting poked and prodded at and having to take deep breaths when all you want to do is spit out all that has been bothering you. Some part of me always doubts that I’m sick, to the point that I have to make sticky notes just to list things that I’m feeling. For now, its the usual, runny nose, sneezing, congestion. . .normal signs of a sinus infection which I get quite regularly.

But I ask, what is it about going to the doctors that makes you feel like such a liar? Like if you miss one thing, like, oh did I mention the headaches? or I’malsohavingalotoftroublewiththis, the doctor might tell you to go get your head examined instead. I keep waiting to here, “Take the highway to the first exit, go straight down that road until you see the crazy house. You’ll run into a guy  in a white coat named Max. Give him the pass code and they’ll give ya an evaluation without the straight jacket”. I know its an over reaction, this doctor is kind. He’s heard all this at least fifty times today I’m sure. He made appropriate Mmmhmmm and Aha, yup‘s before I could even get a sentence out.

Not a big diagnosis, here’s a antibiotic to clear ya up, call in a few weeks, thanks have a good day.

Man am I a wuss. So if you’re suffering through worse than a simple sinus infection, or any sort of struggle, my heart goes out to you. Someone a lot stronger and more brave than me is in need of prayers and support right now. Her name is Amber. She is a vivacious, beautiful thirty-one year old mother of four going through a tough time. She is going into an intense surgery on the thirteenth of this month, and she’ll need all the support the Internet has to give. If you can, leave a comment on her blog or send a prayer her way. She deserves every word of it.