Sometimes Selfish Isn’t So Bad

TODAY I DECIDED THAT ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was tired of getting up an hour after my alarm goes off. Tired of rushing late out the door. Tired of clothes that don’t fit right (so that’s how that feels), tired of fast food and feeling grumpy, and tired of songs that I’ve listened to one too many times.

I didn’t know what I could do about it. It seemed like my focus was constantly pulling me in two directions. I was always thinking of what I needed to be doing, yet when I was doing what needed to be done, I was dreaming of what I wanted to be doing, and vice-versa.

It got to be pretty darn confusing, and pretty darn frustrating.

But instead of pulling my hair out, I dyed it.

Because like that isn’t a huge decision that comes complete with a side of panic attacks and it’s own subscription to This is What Your Hair Should Look Like But You Know It Won’t magazine. But like the professional I am, I took my phone with me and I documented the event regardless of any hesitation. Only for you Internet, only for you. I was a bit worried when the stylist said stuff about putting more “violet” in it this time, since I hadn’t been there in over 11 months and I was just sure she couldn’t remember me, but somehow, miraculously, she really did.

I’d give five bucks and my first born child to have her memory.

Random tangent: I feel bad for whoever my first kid is because I’ve traded them for a lot of monetary things. I always say I’ll give five bucks and my first-born child for that grilled cheese or I’m dying for a Sonic slushie. I’d pretty much give five bucks and my first-born child for one or I bet you five bucks and my first-born that Justin Bieber is really young black kid (I was wrong on this one, but dang, I was spot-on about him not being over puberty. I CALLED THAT ONE). Just giving my first-born, my baby, the fruit of my loins would be enough, as if I’d even need to throw in the five bucks, but hey! Bonus!

Sorry future child.

Momma loves ya.

But I love this meal more.

So Jenny, my hairstylist is sitting there chatting to me as she dyes my hair, and somehow she talks me into bangs again (that she didn’t charge me for) and I realize why I came back here. That woman is good for anyone’s self confidence. It felt good to socialize, talk about something different than what I was used to, forget about work and home stress and just let myself be pampered.

And I won’t lie. It felt good having someone else wash my hair for a change. I don’t know what they use but it smells amazing. I’m planning on not washing my hair for four days.

Five if I’m lucky and don’t let anyone come too close.

Don’t judge me. You know you wear your jeans just as long as that before washing them.

Don’t you?

As if all that wasn’t great enough, I walked out to my car afterwords and found Kevin had left these flowers on the hood of my car, and broke into my house to start making my favorite dinner.

Here is what I looked like before the chemicals that’ll probably fry my brain transformation:

I look happy, but I’m hurting on the inside. Real bad.

My lips hurt real bad.

Sorry. Random Napoleon Dynamite quote that nobody remembers or understands.

I now give you the after:

And no.

It’s not black.

It may look black. Just like I look like I’m paying attention to you when all I’m really thinking about is one of those slushies… but hey! At least I don’t look almost naked like I did in this photo! Woo!!

Moral of the story is this,

Be selfish. DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF because as my friend Jessica puts it, “you can’t make anyone happy if you’re not happy with yourself”.