FOR SOME BACKGROUND, you know that I’ve always loved pets, which means I’ve owned anything I could get my hands on. Currently I have two parakeets, a dwarf hamster, a talking dog, and two rabbits. Everything lives in my apartment except the rabbits, some punk kids came around and started letting them out of my yard so I had to move them to my parents house.
Ashley recently caught a rabbit and tried to give it to me, and I immediately started listing the things she shouldn’t feed it. What can I say, I am a walking index of pet advice. It’s kind of pathetic really. I aspired to be a vet, and when that wasn’t possible I looked into being a vet tech. I found a local program, but they wanted $41,500 in TUITION (meaning, not including books) for two years of school which would certify me to spend the rest of my life cleaning cages and taking “temperatures” for roughly $12.75 an hour!
Uh, no thanks.
So here I sit, telling her what not to feed Chester the Rabbit (or Sweetie as Aspen calls him) and I…well…read it for yourself. Let’s just say I’m a PET expert, not a food or spelling expert.
Ashley:
i tried to give the rabbit we found to mom, she wouldn’t take him and says shes giving you your rabbits back someday
Aub:
the rabbits i can’t have at grams because kids let them out, and mom/dad shouldn’t have to care for them.
haha yep those are going.
i dont care about the black one, i’ll miss my brown one tho
Ashley:
is this the same aubrey that wanted to be a vet tech and save baby birds along the freeway?
Aub:
bite it
Ashley:
Glade (her cat) LOOOOOVED The rabbit. he was totally rubbing up against him
Aub:
what a fag (Sorry. You’d have to meet Glade to understand that. He’s antisocial, his best friends are a pair of raccoons and he hates the daylight. You can’t help but make fun of him.)
dude don’t feed the rabbit alvacados or tomatoes, it’ll kill.
Ashley:
altho the rabbit was last seen at the neighbors house–the neighbor called me last night and says “do you have a rabbit”? um…we brought one home yesterday
alvacado???
alvacado??
answer me
dont google it.
alvacado
Aub:
avacado?
heck I dunno.
Ashley:
avacado.
much better
you should try ALvacado’s theyre delicous.
Aub:
bite it
Ashley:
well they are
My favorite part? How she has to tell me “don’t Google it”.
YOU DIDN’T THINK THAT I’D SKIP THIS MONDAY, DID YOU? Just because I had surgery three hours ago and I’m a bit loopy doesn’t mean that I can’t give you all the only thing you come here for – my lame Made Me Laugh Monday posts.
This weeks funnies are of a random assortment, but I feel that they all tie in together quite nicely due to the literal aspect of all of them. We’ll start off with the old phrase, “The lesser of two evils”. How’s about the lesser of two weevils?
I know we’ve already discussed my hamster Chip in another post, but this one just made me laugh. It reminds me of the times when we’d put our hammies in these exercise balls and completely forget about them until thirty minutes later when they’re cornered and surrounded by all five cats.
What makes this even funnier, is I just realized the title said “It’s sad because those dudes only live for two years anyway”. That’s a lie.
Chip has been kickin’ it for 2 years, going on 3.
Now, if you are from Utah, or you’ve been to Utah, or your cousins-uncles-aunt is from Utah, or you’ve just heard the word ‘missionary’ in general, this will amuse you.
Gotta love those missionaries. Even the mice ones, because cheese sounds davine right now, and they don’t make that flavor in pudding.
Now remember on my last MMLM post where I said I spend a lot of time looking for things?
That explains it. That explains why I almost put milk in the cupboard, pizza in the pantry and my keys in the dirty clothes bag. I guess I can now add “I’m an idiot” to my usual “It’s a Mo thing”.
Face plant: You’re doing it right.
Lastly, remember when these came out and it was all the craze? A ROBOT THAT VACUUMS FOR YOU! Only difference is, in the infomercials they used a Roomba in an area that only had rounded edges with nothing for it to get stuck on.
THIS IS CHIP, my two year old Fancy Russian Dwarf Hamster. He loves sunflower seeds, his hamster wheel and biting people. You see, Chip has Little Hamster syndrome, like Little Dog syndrome or Short Man syndrome, just on a smaller scale.
Chip thinks he can take on anyone, anything at anytime.
Wanna know what bugs Chip other than putting your hand in his cage? When you take out his wheel. He is exactly like me and has to always be in motion.
