I COULD JIMMY UP SOME BULL CRAP EXCUSE about why I haven’t posted my Made Me Laugh Monday post yet. I could say that I was busy (when am I NOT busy? I’m known for being on the go). I could lie and tell you that I had too much work to do, but then you’d see the inside of my house and beg to differ. I could say I was busy working on my new pet site, or AubreyMo.com, and you that you just couldn’t see the changes yet. Or the most classic excuse, I could say that a dog ate my homework.

Does “the dog ate my shoe” count? Yea that’s it. That’s why I haven’t posted. Because of this little critter right here.

He ate my shoe, and I kissed his face. It was a fair trade, straight up.

Now on to the more serious stuffs.

Numero Uno (and yes, I know I spelled that wrong. Shoot me. I’m too lazy to use Dictionary.com right now…or spell check):

No explanation needed. Seriously, I prize my possessions. Just ask any of my sisters. I was the WORST about sharing my clothes, toys, pets and limited edition Lion King paraphernalia (no, not paraphernalia like drugs) when I was little. Did I say was? I meant am. I see things as mine mine mine, and I don’t want to let somebody else enjoy them for the fear that they will break it.

It is a bad trait I am continually working on.

Don’t even think that I’ll start to share cheesecake though.

Dating. Literally.

Remember last weeks’ funny about the blind date? Well. . .I found another example of taking things a little too literally.

Boys. They just don’t seem to get it, do they?

I’ll leave you with a few snippets of Life’s Wisdom.

• The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

• No one is listening until you fart.

• It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. Note to self: Must keep this one in mind.

• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile way and you have their shoes.

• If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. Reminds me of the time I “donated” 10 dollars to the floor at Albertsons. I like to think of it less as losing money and more of making someone’s day.

• Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

MY HEART BROKE TODAY as I watched Aspen try to make friends at Two Jacks Pizza. Kid after kid passed her by without even the slightest of glances, which was perfectly fine to her at the time. She entertained us for a little bit running laps around the table, grinning like she always does and mouthing out random words like Aub, Drink and Bull Rap (I blame her father for that last one).

That’s when she landed eyes on her. She was young, probably only three, with wavy honey blond hair and rosy cheeks. After staring for an eternity, Aspen tentatively waved and chirped, “hi!”. Blondie was not amused. Pointing her finger at Aspen, she mumbled, “Dad, the baby is coming…” then a little louder, “Dad, the BABY is COMING!!!” When that got no reaction from her father who was ordering pizza, she waved her arm around wildly executioner-style and screeched, “SHE’S GONNA TAKE OUR SEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAATS!!!!”

Aspen cocked her head but was still standing her ground, hoping to have a new playmate. Blondie had had enough and proceeded to try and flyswatter her away with her hand. I was just glad Aspen hadn’t been standing any closer, as I could guarantee Blondie would’ve slapped her just to defend her precious table.

Little kids can be so vicious.

The only people who weren’t oblivious to this whole scene were Megan, Ashley and I. We’d even stopped eating, which never happens when Fat Sticks are around (Cheese Sticks, if you’re going to get all technical on me). Aspen turned to face us and big fat tears rolled down her face as she suffered through her first rejection. She stood there and sobbed her little heart out, and let me tell you, I’d rather walk over nails barefoot than watch an eighteen month old cry like that ever again. Ever.

In the end, I think all three of us adults were more upset about it than Aspen. Megan and I even stuck our tongues out at Blondie on the way out. Yes I’m immature, but that’s my niece. Nobody messes with her – three years old or no. Apparently, reactions never outgrow you, they just become a choice. Aspen was more mature than all of us combined when she waved and said goodbye to Blondie.

The whole experience got me thinking about just how early on in life we learn about things like love, rejection, wants and needs. It’s all too easy to think something is small and insignificant because they are children. I think we could all use a reminder to keep an open mind that kids go through tough times too, and we should do our best to help them through that, not just shrug it off or become angry or irritated. I fear I’m treading into water that I shouldn’t go (family wise) with this, so I’ll end on that note and hope a certain someone reads it. To all my niece and nephew kiddos, I love you. Aunt Aub will always be here, even ten years from now when you’re old enough to use the Internet (or allowed) and you find this post. If you ever need me you know where I am.

TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE who already knew all of this. . .

Please excuse this post.

Here is a quick run down of my life. I’m nineteen (and a half). Five-foot-four (and a half). Blue eyes, brown hair and a definite true South Paw. I have plenty of pets, which we’ll get to later on. I have three awesome sisters and some pretty neat parents. I live in my own apartment, which is nice until I think of all the monsters that could be hiding under my bed. I always check the back seat of my car for murderers. Seriously.

I’m a member of PAA Pet Addicts Anonymous or Picture Addicts Anonymous. Up until now, my family are the only ones that have been haggard with my “look what i took!” pride of my work. Now I will terrorize you with the very same. You’re thrilled, I can tell.

I love drawing, reading, going for walks and cloudy skies. The thing I collect the most of is pets. My favorite color is blue, and combined with brown it is the loveliest thing.

I also love that this post is starting to sound like a dating advertisement. Awesome.