HAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. . .

And to Machelle too. . .

You both smell like monkeys. . .

And you grin like one too!

Happy birthday to two of the best sisters in the world. Now let me rephrase this song for you both:

Ash -You’re HOLDING a monkey. . .

Machelle – You pull faces like a babooooon. . .(this is a valid comparison)

But I love you both too!

TWELVE YEARS AGO WE WERE IN A DUSTY BACK ROOM, all crammed onto metal chairs in front of a paper backdrop. Machelle was only two or three at the time, but she was grinning like a natural born camera ham. I was about eight, with long blond hair that hung down my back. Sam had bangs, Ashley had glasses. Mom had a different shade of hair, and Dad had more hair overall (sorry Dad. I love your hair just as it is).

Oh how things have changed.

We’ve all outgrown our bangs. Ashley and Sam got married and have children of their own. I’m living in my own apartment. Machelle is in High School and is commonly mistaken for being older than me, even with a five year gap between us. Mom and Dad have moved to a different house that is their pride and joy. It was my dad’s Grandfathers house, so it means a lot to have it stay in the family.

But some things never change. We are still a family, even if we have extended family now. So when Mom told me she wanted pictures of her four daughters for Mothers Day, I started scheming and made an appointment with Kiddie Kandids. Ashley and I had already talked about getting new ones taken (the last sister pictures we had done, I was about twelve).

But then another thought occured to me. We should have our parents there. Twelve years is a long time to go by when all you have is snapshots from cheap Kodak cameras to show the passing of time and the growth we’ve all went through.

The photo shoot went perfectly. Nobody fought (would we do that? Nawww), everybody came and everyone smiled. Best yet – I haven’t been disowned for making everyone do this.

Without further ado, here is my family.

From top left: Sam, Machelle, Ashley, Dad, Mom, Aubrey (Hey! That’s me!)

I’m glad the photographer thought to do different things, like photos of all of us together, mom and dad alone, and then some of us daughters. Mom doesn’t like this one, but us girls love it! She had to hurry and snap it before either parent shied out and changed their mind.

The four daughters all together. Can I get an “awww”?

This next one is probably my favorite picture of us. I’m particularly glad that my hair didn’t do anything funky, my eyes weren’t going in two different directions  – which I will explain in another post – and my collared shirt wasn’t too preppy.

Funny thing about my shirt. I’ve had this whole thing planned out for two whole weeks. For two weeks I’ve called everyone and told them these exact things:

• Be there at 11:45.

• Wear a white tee-shirt, with blue jeans. We’ll take off our shoes.

• Bring something for the pot luck.

and…BE THERE AT 11:45. My family is notorious for saying we’ll be somewhere on time, and showing up hours later. And no Ash, I’m not just talking about you and Niel. We all do this.

Surprisingly, no one was late.

But back to the tee-shirt. So I have it all arranged, pictures are in twenty minutes, and DEAR GOD MY WHITE SHIRT DOES NOT FIT. Remind me to try stuff on before I wear it to something as monumental as our once-every-decade pictures. I’m the planner, and I’m the only one unprepared! The shirt in the pictures was compliments of my shiny silver Visa, right after I got to the mall. Thank heavens for clothing stores in close proximity to photo shops.

Finally, a close up of all of our faces. After looking at this, we all laughed. The photographer had the two shortest sit in the front (Ashley and I) and the two tallest in the back. If we were to  go in the order we were born, it would go Ashley, Sam, myself and then Machelle.

Afterwards, we all met at my house for a pot luck. I gave an Emmy Award winning speech thanking everyone for coming, participating, chipping in financially and bringing food for the pot luck. I wasn’t joking. Thank you everyone. I’m so proud to be able to call you my family.

I HAVEN’T BEEN ON THE INTERNET TO SCOPE OUT FUNNY THINGS LATELY, so it’s only appropriate if Made Me Laugh Monday was about what I was doing last Monday (and all last week for that matter). I was in Bryce Canyon with my sister Ashley and her family, their friend Kelly and his daughters Megan and Brittany, and my little sister Machelle. The first picture was taken while  we were driving. Just a normal everyday picture, right? Well…scroll down. I dare you.

I guess I should’ve warned you too.

Quick Disclaimer: I cannot be held accountable for the unattractive nature of the photos below. If you are afraid of people taking hideous photos of each other, and then posting them online, view at your own comfort risk.

For starters, this is when we all stopped in Beaver for some squeaky cheese or what is commonly known as Cheese Curd. Machelle’s obviously in her own world here, where she is a drunk/stoned (better NEVER be in real life) rock star on a world tour. Funny the first time, but then we realized something. This is how it is going to be THE WHOLE TRIP. Oh boy. It only gets better – and when I say better, I do mean worse - from here.

This is one of many pictures that Machelle took the liberty of taking of herself, on my camera, without me even knowing.

Just a few comments. Notice the wrapper, the chocolate stains and the Cheshire Cat pajamas. Looks like she’d fit right in at Wal-Mart!

Exorcism Needed. Please call me with offers. I’m surprised I was still able to sleep next to that demon that night.

But even worse than the face above, is this face below. I have no words for it. Nothing sarcastic to say and my only reaction is to try and counteract it with pictures of cute puppies and pretty butterflies. Do you even know what it is like to wake up and realize she took these while I was sleeping? WHILE I WAS SLEEPING?!

Now, this is on the last day of our vacation, I think her “ugly face” was starting to wearing off. I actually said that to her once, but I didn’t mean that she has an ugly face. I just meant that the expression she used was ugly. Please someone side with me and tell me that what I just said made any sense.

I spoke too soon. Ugly Face Expression is back.

Alas! She needed me to take a Myspace picture for her, so she actually smiled, and it was Beautiful Face instead.

Now we’ve come full circle, to a priceless photo of two sisters who were having a blast, and not ripping each others throats out for two whole seconds!

Now to be fair…I know I just posted a bunch of crap Machelle will want to kill me for. I promise on all things AubreyMo that I will post not-so-cute pictures of me from our Bryce vacation. Trust me. There are plenty. I can just see my mom putting her face in her palm now. Oh the shame of having a daughter that hides nothing online.