THE KITCHEN CALLED TODAY, and I listened.Wait, that sounds like that old “Is your refridgerator running? Well you better catch it!” joke. This is not a joke, I really did cook.

and cook.

and cook some more. Please feast your eyes on AubreyMo’s Meatloaf. Just forgive the backflash.

Meatloaf wasn’t the only thing I crafted up today. I made two loafs of homemade bread.

Muffin bread to be exact. Mmm. Toasty.

(please ignore the dirty spoon).

Scratch white rolls completed the table, along with corn and baked potatoes, which I didn’t picture because they were by far the simplest to cook. For drinks we had my childhood favorite, Orange Julius drinks fresh from the blender.

So. . .anybody want to come help me eat all of this? My eyes really are bigger than my stomach.

If you can’t join me, at least allow me to share something with you. The grand master, the recipe to rule them all. I give you:

Momma’s Orange Julius

Prelude this recipe with a frantic call to your mother, which starts out “Hey Mom, what are the measurements to that recipe we used to make as kids all the time growing up?”

Only a mom would be able to decifer that. “Hold on, let me get that for ya”. Thanks mom, love ya!

1/2 Cup Milk

1/2 Cup Water

1/2 Can frozen orange juice

1/4 Cup Sugar

1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

1-2 Cups Ice Cubes (varies with personal preference)

Directions:

Add all ingredients to blender and push the Easy button. Or if you don’t have an Easy button, hit “Blend”. Remember to laugh at the similiar named company in the mall, since you now have a cheaper recipe than buying a drink from them. Drink and enjoy!

I’M PROBABLY THE PICKIEST EATER YOU’VE EVER KNOWN. I can proudly claim that title. From the time I was two (or so I’ve been told), I’ve eaten no more than five cheeseburgers, I haven’t tried things that I should and I’ve ingested things I probably shouldn’t. I guess I developed quite the stubborn streak at two years old, and decided that not only was I a big girl who didn’t need nap time, I’d also eat only what I want – when I wanted it.

Back then, it was Cheerios. All Cheerios.

So much Cheerios, my mom probably never wants to ever eat them again.

My parent’s tried to break my bad habit. Oh lord, did they ever try. They even tricked me a few times. Mom used to cook fish strips mixed in with chicken strips, just to make sure I got a little omega 3. Dad and Sam went even further, and put peas and carrots on my plate one night. I was told I couldn’t leave the table until I’ve eaten them. This concept was nothing new, but I thought it was weird that they kept watching me. “Eat it.” “No.” “It’s good.” “NO.” “Just one bite”. “NOOOOO!!!” Tears were shed. They were laughing. Why would they try to make me eat something so. . .so. . .disgustingly horrifying?! “It’s candy,” they tell me. Bull, its peas and carrots and I can SEE IT RIGHT THERE.

Turns out, it was honestly candy. I sat for over an hour, bawling because I didn’t want to eat candy. Spare me.

When bribes, gifts, and you’ll sit here until you take at least two bites never worked, they turned to FORCE FEEDING ME strawberry jam. One sister held each leg, mom held my shoulders, and dad propped open my mouth and dolloped in a teaspoon full. I haven’t forgiven any of them to this day. (And for the record, I just barely tried it again recently, just on my own accord this time).

I’m a little bit better about eating now. I actually eat real foods, like bananas, meatloaf, steak and ribs, casseroles and the like. I don’t fear trying foods anymore, but some things never change. Mom still tries to get me to try different things, and the first thing out of her mouth is always this:

“All that’s in it is____”

“and this ___ and this ____ and this ___.”

I’d fill in the blanks, but honestly it’s like my brain shuts off after hearing the first sentence. It could be the BEST CAKE IN THE WORLD and I still wouldn’t try it if that’s the first thing I hear. Words like that are always followed up with:

” . . .that’s all that’s in it.”

That’s great. Call it stubborn, but I’m just not interested. It’s sentences like those that drive me to eat junk food again, just to spite those words. And while I’m at it, let me list for you all the ingredients in my 44 ounce soda. Caffeine, carbonation, yumminess. End of discussion.