8:00AM THIS MORNING GIFTED ME WITH A TEXT FROM ASHLEY.

Attached was a picture of a dead mouse.

Quick someone call Peta.

The message was even better. It read:

“Tell Grams the raisin worked. Don’t tell Aspen I named it Despereaux!”

I’m busy working on other posts. They’re less gross, but what blogger would I be if I didn’t gift you with the gruesome stuff first? Next chapter featuring Glade: Ashley’s cat that might have worms!!

Just kidding.

YOU DIDN’T THINK THAT I’D SKIP THIS MONDAY, DID YOU? Just because I had surgery three hours ago and I’m a bit loopy doesn’t mean that I can’t give you all the only thing you come here for – my lame Made Me Laugh Monday posts.

This weeks funnies are of a random assortment, but I feel that they all tie in together quite nicely due to the literal aspect of all of them. We’ll start off with the old phrase, “The lesser of two evils”. How’s about the lesser of two weevils?

I know we’ve already discussed my hamster Chip in another post, but this one just made me laugh. It reminds me of the times when we’d put our hammies in these exercise balls and completely forget about them until thirty minutes later when they’re cornered and surrounded by all five cats.

What makes this even funnier, is I just realized the title said “It’s sad because those dudes only live for two years anyway”. That’s a lie.

Chip has been kickin’ it for 2 years, going on 3.

Now, if you are from Utah, or you’ve been to Utah, or your cousins-uncles-aunt is from Utah, or you’ve just heard the word ‘missionary’ in general, this will amuse you.

Gotta love those missionaries. Even the mice ones, because cheese sounds davine right now, and they don’t make that flavor in pudding.

Now remember on my last MMLM post where I said I spend a lot of time looking for things?

That explains it. That explains why I almost put milk in the cupboard, pizza in the pantry and my keys in the dirty clothes bag. I guess I can now add “I’m an idiot” to my usual “It’s a Mo thing”.

Face plant: You’re doing it right.

Lastly, remember when these came out and it was all the craze? A ROBOT THAT VACUUMS FOR YOU! Only difference is, in the infomercials they used a Roomba in an area that only had rounded edges with nothing for it to get stuck on.

Such false advertisement.