I REALLY DON’T HAVE MUCH NEW TO SAY in this post. It’s nothing you haven’t already seen – more photos of dogs, added to the hundreds I’ve already posted of them on this blog.

I know you’re probably sick of them, but this is my life as a crazy pet lady and since my camera follows me, and I tend hang around a pack of mutts…this is what you get.

(Although you will get a Made Me Laugh Monday post later tonight, and it is an absolute RIOT).

You remember Eddie?

He’s mom’s crazy Boston Terrier.

Emphasis on crazy.

Well, Eddie isn’t top dog anymore at the parents residence.

There is a new dog in town.

He’s orange.

He licks things.

He’s fluffy.

And he’s even a little cocky.

His name is Chance, and he’s taken over ever since my parents adopted him from Lost Paws, a no-kill local animal shelter organization.

Chance is a good dog, but he doesn’t fight fair. He’s a bully you see. And if he can’t beat you…

If he can’t outrun you…

If he can’t out-fox you…

He’ll bite you.

Of course King Oliver couldn’t be bothered with their petty troubles and decided to stay in Kevin’s arms where he was safely out of reach.

Kevin took a little too much pity on him.

But where was Rosco the Mole Rat? He was standing his ground. Preparing for battle. Sharpening those Rat Nose teeth. Playing victory music in his head.

Who won in the smack-down between Rosco the Mole Rat and Big Bully Chance?

I’ll let you be the judge.

In memory of Koda Bear, the most ferocious, fearless, loving little Pom-Pom that ever graced this earth. It’s been three months since you passed and we still miss you little guy.

Hope you’re still growling and Pom-Pom dancing in doggy heaven.

NOW THAT I’VE EMBARRASSED GRANDMA B, (Sorry Grandma.

Grandma? Grandma! Are you still here?

Rach?

Jackie?

Anybody?)

I figured I’d post something embarrassing about myself. Kevin already stated it on his Facebook when he updated his status as, “Just found out my girlfriend can touch her nose with her tongue.”

Kind of like this:

Except even more gross because I’m a human and not a dog.

I can’t help it. My tongue is so big that when I stick it out, it reaches the bottom of my chin. It can do the roll and the wave, and because of it’s size  I probably snore at night and would be a great backup for that guy from Kiss. Add to the fact that I’m already a walking freak show – I’m extremely double jointed in the arms, fingers and thumbs and I can fit my entire fist in my mouth – and you can pretty much call me to any birthday party if you’re looking for cheap entertainment.

The problem is, most people don’t ask to see these things.

I volunteer them.

I realized this probably wasn’t the best thing to walk around advertising when Aspen looked at me from her car seat and made the accompanying “mmmmph!” noise as she stuck her tongue out and tried to lick her tiny nose.

I only made it worse when I poked mine out and stuck it up my left nostril.

I know. I know.

I’m gross.

But you know you kinda wanna see it now.

WE HAD A SWING SET IN THE BACKYARD GROWING UP. And I think out of all us girls, I appreciated it the most. My special spot was right up on the top – the one spot kids normally shouldn’t climb to. If I were stressed, worried, or upset I’d run outside, climb my way up to the top and perch like a cat for hours. I felt invincible there, like nothing on this Earth could touch me. I pondered things a lot from my roost.

As I sat last April on a Hoodoo in Bryce Canyon, I had that same reflective feeling. I never could have guessed that I’d grow up this way.  But who ever does? Is there ever a point that you think, “that happened just as I planned when I was 10″? I never would have thought I’d be the person I am today, surrounded by the people that I love most, doing a job I enjoy. I’m glad things didn’t turn out as I’d expected.

There is a lot I don’t blog about. Breakups* are one of them. I want my blog to be an escape for the reader as well as myself. But there are times when I don’t have something cute, or funny, or exciting to post about, and all I need to do is just write out how I’m really feeling. The snippet below is from one of those times, on September 18th, about a month before I’d broken up with Dale.

What I wouldn’t give to be able to walk away from problems and issues. To be able to say, “I’m done” and leave, pick up a new life and move on. Some days I want that. I was upstairs with Grams when we had a long talk about the reasons why I’m okay with NOT being married right now (after dating for two years).

“I like my freedom,” I defended quite confidently.

“What freedom? Freedom my dear, is the ability to pack up and go, to hitch hike to Wyoming, to do whatever you feel when you feel it! What you have is not freedom. Sure, you might have a degree of it, but you’re not truly free. You’re bound by obligations – work, school, Dale. You don’t take the time to let yourself be free.”

It was that instant, when her eighty year old eyes locked onto mine with the fire of someone young at heart, with the passion of someone who knows the value of life, and with the urgency to instill a thousand meanings at once, that I realized she was right.

I’m not an accomplished person, you see.

I’ve failed myself.

And although it felt better to write that out, I never did post it. It didn’t belong on my happy little blog. But it’s not the words that didn’t belong, it’s the feeling of unhappiness and disappointment that accompanied it, that created it. I was not a happy person.

So why now? Why would I share something so deep, so personal and from so far back?

I want to remind myself to be this girl.

The girl who can learn from others, and not stress, and not worry about things. I want to live life and take the time to appreciate everything I have been given. I am so very very blessed and I don’t want to take that for granted. I tend to stress too much, whine when I have no need, get frustrated too easily, give up to fast. And you know what? Life is just too short.

So I encourage you to go.

Climb Hoodoos. They are great for reflecting.

Just remember, it’s easier to climb up if you’re looking forward with anticipation and not back with regrets.

*Post Note: No I am not/will not/have not broken up with Kevin. We are doing great, he is included in the “surrounded by people I love” part and he’s one of the many blessings I count in my life every day, along with having amazing immediate family (Ash and Aspen, as well as the other 3/4ths of my family who don’t read this blog), amazing extended family (Grandma B and Rach, you are awesome, thank you for always reading and commenting), great friends (shout out to Kamie) and a good dog who is currently sleeping on my lap. Thank you to every single one of you, family, friends, blog friends. Thank you for making me who I am today, and for encouraging me to be whoever I may want to be tomorrow.

THIS IS WHAT CHRISTMAS ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKS LIKE.

Happy Holidays from Ollie and I.

THIS IS OLIVER.

And he is not an Iams dog.

Matter of fact, he is a you’ll-eat-whatever-dog-food-I-give-you-and-like-it kind of dog.

He doesn’t mind.

Ollie cracks me up. He stole my stuffed animal and packs it around the house. He steals my socks and hides them in his cage, but this isn’t a bad thing — it means that all the missing socks in my house now have a home and I don’t have to round them up myself. Kind of useful really. Ollie jumps at the word “go” and knows the name Rosco (his brother). He can sit, lay down, crawl and shake. And according to Grams, he can also scare off visiting teachers and the occasional mailman. He has many names, Oliver Twist being the official one, Ollie for short, and then Chaweenie, Jaws, Mutley, Hoover, Pumpa, Dog, Hey You and GET OUT OF THAT GARBAGE.

There are times when I’ve had a long day (for example yesterday, going to work and then back to college for the first time in two weeks) when all I want to do when I get home is crash on the couch and not bother to turn the lights on, when just ignoring everything for even twenty minutes sounds divine. I’ll drag my feet up those steps to Grams’ and knock on the door to pick up Ollie, and he will come bounding out the door and jump on me, and the energy level and excitement from that little dog is enough to keep me going for the night. It’s nice to have something so happy to come home to.

YES. THE TITLE IS A WARNING. A warning that the following repetitive clip has the potential to be more annoying than the videos of me singing. Ever wondered what the who the heck is that girl famous AubreyMo does with her spare time?

I corner Ollie with the video camera of course.

And I switch from third to first person at random. Sorry about that.

When my Aunt gave me Ollie, we were told he can howl on command. Turns out he talks too.

I always wonder if he really loves me, or if he just loves it when I shut up.

Food.

He loves food and snuggles.

And my parents. That about sums it up.

Want to know what I love? (Besides Ollie). I love YOU my dear readers. I had a record traffic day yesterday and it’s days like that that make my heart soar and give me the motivation to keep it coming with the sarcasm and all the lame jokes.

Any funny posts you want to see? Any pets you can’t get enough of? Any tricks you want me to learn and blog about? Let me know in the comment box.

Loves!

- AubreyMo

EVER HEARD THE SAYING “THERE IS NO PHYSCHIATRIST IN THE WORLD LIKE A PUPPY LICKING YOUR FACE” from Ben Williams?

And the one that goes something like, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?” It seems my dog has given up his habit of being camera shy in pursuit of more worthy endeavors.

Hey Ollie, look at the camera. . .

That’s it. Good boy! Almost there, hold that pose. . .hold it. . .

How did I know that was going to happen?

“In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi human.  The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.”  ~Edward Hoagland

So I guess I need to learn to enjoy letting a dog lick my face. Or more specifically my boogers.

IT WAS ONLY A FEW WEEKS AGO that I was sitting home alone at night being bored. It was too early to go to bed, and too late to do any major cleaning – or so that was my excuse – so I hit up my usual gals online. A while into our daily discussions, my great friend Kamie posts a picture she took with Photo Booth.

Now, before I tell you about the pictures, I need to explain Photo Booth to the less fortunate, unknowledgeable poor souls that are stuck using Dell or PC people that don’t own a Macbook as a computer. A Mac comes with many things, and one of them is an application that will take pictures of you from your web cam. Nothing new right? Well, Photo Booth also comes with all these neat options that will distort the picture.

It was 11:00pm, and we were bored. Kamie posted a pic and I about died laughing, so she taught me how I could do it too.

My first try was cautious. Cute.

My second try was using Ollie as the test subject. Let’s just say that the below pictures makes his under bite look normal.

I didn’t dare try that effect on me, and then I remembered that I am AubreyMo – the internet queen of all things self embarrassing and humiliating. What do I care if  I post a couple of pictures of me that aren’t ideal? I WAS BORN WITHOUT A SENSE OF SHAME.

I let go of all thoughts of self image.

Who cares if I look like I have Jay Leno’s chin?

Who cares if I take a picture that looks like Nanny McFee?

And so what if I wind up looking like Kathy Bates in the show Misery where she takes a sledgehammer to some dudes feet?

Anyone seen the movie Mars? Because I have some alien photos too.

The best photos were those I took using the “X Ray” effect. Honestly, I’m going to throw them up on this post really fast, and then google pictures of butterflies and unicorns because I need these scary images out of my head.

These should be  horror film ads.

I HATE WIND. I said it. And if you really know me, you’ve probably heard me say it more than once. There’s just something about it pushing your hair into your face, throwing your papers around and then budging your car all over the road that drives me crazy. If I have one elemental enemy it is definitely that.

But regardless of wind, rain, hail, or (heaven help me) snow, I have a responsibility to take my four legged soul mate outside. So I threw on jeans, flip flops and a half hearted smile and out we trooped. There is a beautiful church next door to my house in downtown Provo, and this was our chosen spot to wander. Ollie finally does not need a leash – and I know I’m going to get some angry comments for that sentence, so I’ll rephrase that. Ollie is TRAINED enough to STAY BY MY SIDE and not chase people or cars, so I feel I can trust him in a huge, fenced field.

I’ll be honest – it’s time like these when I have a million things to do, that I sometimes wonder why I got a dog. Then again, it’s hard not to be frustrated when you’re waiting for a dog to choose his “spot”.  I’m standing with my hair all across my face, freezing and irritated,  crossing my arms, stomping my feet and making the hhuuuph noises I make when I can’t help but be impatient. And Ollie? He’s blissfully exploring, wandering, smelling. Taking life in. So I try to enjoy it a little too.

Maybe it’s not so cold.

Maybe I do have a few minutes to let him be a dog.

With that new attitude in mind, everything shifted. The wind was no longer an enemy, but a gentle hug from a long lost friend, greeting me after the long awaited winters reprieve. It was change, bringing fresh air and seedlings waiting to grow. Whispering to the earth wake up, it’s Spring. It was invigorating, awakening, beautiful. It made me feel care free, like I wanted to run. So I did, with slow little Ollie in tow, looking behind me as he pushes himself harder, and harder until he’s sprinting past me. Witnessing as, for once he actually acted more canine than feline and chased a group of robins with reckless abandon. Watching my dog, playing, leaping and bounding with his tongue half out and that crazed look in his eye, I realized life is more simple than what we make it out to be.  Life is about living.

And life doesn’t get any sweeter than the birth of four beautiful, healthy baby Pomeranians that Sam’s dog just gave birth to. Welcome to the world, little ones. I know you’ll always help remind your owners what the true meaning of this world is, just as Ollie reminded me tonight.