FOR SOME BACKGROUND, you know that I’ve always loved pets, which means I’ve owned anything I could get my hands on. Currently I have two parakeets, a dwarf hamster, a talking dog, and two rabbits. Everything lives in my apartment except the rabbits, some punk kids came around and started letting them out of my yard so I had to move them to my parents house.

Ashley recently caught a rabbit and tried to give it to me, and I immediately started listing the things she shouldn’t feed it. What can I say, I am a walking index of pet advice. It’s kind of pathetic really. I aspired to be a vet, and when that wasn’t possible I looked into being a vet tech. I found a local program, but they wanted $41,500 in TUITION (meaning, not including books) for two years of school which would certify me to spend the rest of my life cleaning cages and taking “temperatures” for roughly $12.75 an hour!

Uh, no thanks.

So here I sit, telling her what not to feed Chester the Rabbit (or Sweetie as Aspen calls him) and I…well…read it for yourself. Let’s just say I’m a PET expert, not a food or spelling expert.

Ashley:
i tried to give the rabbit we found to mom, she wouldn’t take him and says shes giving you your rabbits back someday

Aub:
the rabbits i can’t have at grams because kids let them out, and mom/dad shouldn’t have to care for them.
haha yep those are going.
i dont care about the black one, i’ll miss my brown one tho

Ashley:
is this the same aubrey that wanted to be a vet tech and save baby birds along the freeway?

Aub:
bite it

Ashley:
Glade (her cat) LOOOOOVED The rabbit. he was totally rubbing up against him

Aub:
what a fag (Sorry. You’d have to meet Glade to understand that. He’s antisocial, his best friends are a pair of raccoons and he hates the daylight. You can’t help but make fun of him.)
dude don’t feed the rabbit alvacados or tomatoes, it’ll kill.

Ashley:
altho the rabbit was last seen at the neighbors house–the neighbor called me last night and says “do you have a rabbit”? um…we brought one home yesterday
alvacado???
alvacado??
answer me
dont google it.
alvacado

Aub:
avacado?
heck I dunno.

Ashley:
avacado.
much better
you should try ALvacado’s theyre delicous.

Aub:
bite it

Ashley:
well they are

My favorite part? How she has to tell me “don’t Google it”.

She knows me well.

I’M BEING CHEATED ON. He’s seeing her behind my back, when I’m at work from 9-5 just so I can put food on the table. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong, I keep his house clean, feed him his favorite foods and try to spend as much time as I can with him, but it’s just not enough.

My rabbit Houdini has decided to move on to seeing other parties.

I didn’t think much about it when this little Netherland Dwarf mix wandered into our yard a few days ago. I’ve caught her before and I know the owners. They don’t keep her caged, so I didn’t feel the need to waste thirty minutes looking like a mad woman, all hunched over and mumbling to myself just to catch it.

“I bet it comes here just to visit your rabbit,” Grams says to me. At the time I thought Grams  had cute but wishful thinking, because surely no house rabbit is smart enough to find another. I was wrong. She’s been coming over religiously (much to Ollie’s disdain) at five every evening.

When I came home late with mom we noticed something black in the driveway. Before we could figure out what it was, it jumped about three feet into the air and shot off towards the back yard. I’d almost hit the poor dear! First place she ran was right into Houdini’s waiting arms…er, more like his cage space. I left her some food and water and told everyone the story, but now I have PROOF. I was cleaning up the yard of twigs and leaves, and when I walked out back to grab a rake I saw this and dashed for my camera.

They’re kinda cute together, what with her shyness and his nose pressed up against the bars. Grams says I should have me some cute baby bunnies. I wouldn’t have to do much, other than give them their hearts biggest desire and let them be together. Aww sweet love.

I guess in the end it’s only fair for him to find another love. He was my “other love” I got after this rabbit, Dodger, died a few years back.

If there is any shot that blackie and Houdini would make me a Dodger baby, I’m all for it. Anybody want a baby Netherland Dwarf and Mini Holland Lop mix?