I’M ONE WEEK FROM TWENTY, AND THERE ARE SOME SPECIFIC THINGS I WOULD LIKE. Now, before I go asking for the snazzy new iPhone, the shiny new car and the typical list of “I can’t afford this so can you get it for me?” stuff, I want to say something.

We all know that I’m a freeloader as far as healthcare, car insurance and rent goes, which leaves me with loads of dough to spend on whatever catches my fancy. But that’s not the point. Birthdays and Christmas aren’t about outdoing our outspending someone. It’s about celebration and the meaning behind the gift. I keep getting asked, “What do you want for your birthday?” but I already have everything I want (see my Two Weeks from Twenty post).

So what am I asking for to commemorate this monumental day? Here is a list of ten things that are all under five dollars, but would be priceless to me.

You really can buy my love – for free. Or at least, for cheap.

1: Homemade Fat Sticks. Mom, this one is your gift to me, because nobody knows how to make them, and even if they did, yours are always the best.

2: Cheesecake, but not just any scrumptious cheesecake-y confection. I want the store bought, boxed goodness also known as JELLO brand cheesecake.

3: A back rub. Bonus Birthday Love points if you give me a foot rub.

4: Dollar movie. Doesn’t matter if it is at the theater, or just your every day Red Box movie. Either way, I am sneaking in an enormous bag full of dollar store candy and canned soda.

5: Fridge magnets. I have a white fridge, hundreds of photos, and only three magnets. Get it?

6: Picture frames. About four of them – 5×7 frame size. I love the colors black, silver and grey, but I’m not going to argue if you get me some funky blue frame with polka dots. I have sneakers now for heaven sakes. I’m open to new styles.

7: Undershirts. If you go to that one Asian owned, Mexican run store that I can’t remember the name of – oh wait – Gen X, you can get me a new undershirt for five bucks. Size medium please.
Unless you’re shopping at Wal-Mart. Then please shop for my size in toddlers. Or whatev. (Refer to the shirt size fiasco here)

8: Headbands. I’m rocking them lately.

9: Mixing bowls, as cheap as they come.

10: Car visor CD holder-thingy. I’ve had mine for two years, which is possibly the longest I’ve owned anything. It is now falling apart and I’m not sure how much longer it will be able to restrain fifteen cds from falling on my head. And as long as we’re talking about CDs, you can always give me a mix CD of music you think I would like. I like surprises.

Don’t worry, I love the dollar store and all its merchandise. Feel free to get me anything from there. Yes, even bubbles, dog treats (not for me), junk food, and/or yard ornaments.

Scratch the yard ornaments. I’ll kill the first person that gifts me with a gnome. They give me the creeps.

I’VE FINALLY COME OUT OF THE CLOSET about my obsession with all things Twilight. You now all know that I’ve read all four of the books at least twice, I can quote the movie off the top of my head and I’ve even dyed my hair the same color as Bella Swan.

Now, I’ve taken it a few steps further. I am Bella from head to toe. First, the hair color with the headbands.

The shirts with artistic flair (note to all my Twilighters – yes, I know this is more like book Bella than movie Bella…as the only thing movie Bella ever wears is flannel).

I have the right pants, with tears in the knees from tripping and falling down so much.

Ok really, these are my first pair of American Eagle jeans, and I bought them this torn and rugged. I fall down enough though that it was probably unnecessary for them to look this tattered right off the shelf. Two weeks of being with me would do that to them.

Side note to Kamie – thanks for suggesting them. You weren’t joking, they really are the most comfortable jeans I’ve ever had.

I even have the shoes! No, not the mountain man unlaced boots, but the Converse shoes. Except they are really Airwalk brand from Payless, because I’m cheap like that.

You simply can’t forget the ring that Bella wears throughout the whole movie, and in the second movie, New Moon, as well. Mine is not moonstone but I figured opal is pretty close as I seem to have an opal obsession. I’m true to my Bella roots though, and I wear it on the right index finger.

Last, but certainly not least (although he is little) I have myself a miniature Edward Cullen! We call him Lil’ Edward.

He showed up in my Easter Basket and he’s even more special than he takes credit for, as he has a special power no other Lil’ Edward possesses – Ming Reading.

You read that right.

M.I.N.G. reading.

I have as of yet to figure out what that truly means.