Those Cat People
ASHLEY JUST SUFFERED A DIAGNOSIS.
Diabetes.
More specifically, feline diabetes. Meaning her cat, Glade, now needs special cat food and insulin shots twice daily. It certainly explains why he’s taken to using her dirty laundry pile as his personal litter box. We thought he was just being spiteful.
This is an ugly cat that I painted for Aspen who declared it to be Glade. However, it is not an accurate rendering because Glade is pure orange and roughly the size of a large raccoon.
My friend Diane had a different opinion when it comes to treating pets for peopleish diseases.
Diane: wow I’m not a cat lover and that sounds like a lot of hassle and money so plug your ears I’d probably put it to sleep.
Or drop it off in a nice town like Mona.
Aubrey: DIANE!
You’re going to Hell.
And it’s going to be a room full of 2,000 cats.
All clamoring all over you.
Cat Hell.
Diane: No kidding that’s pretty close to my definition of Hell.
But Ashley is pretty compassionate when it comes to pets. I know this because when I was twelve, our sister dropped our Chihuahua and broke both his front legs, and Ashley held him on her lap afterward even though he pooped all over her. I wouldn’t say that’s love, as much as it was just an oldest-child obligation type of deal. But still, she wanted to do what she could for Glade so we trooped of to Target to get his medicine, and those Target people, they are really compassionate.
Pharmacy tech: What’s the patient’s date of birth?
Ashley: I don’t know. It’s for a CAT.
Pharmacy tech: Oh, you’re one of those people! How admirable of you! You know, I had a dog who was on Prozac once because he was depressed, and I swore after that I’d never do anything like that for a pet again, but that is just so nice of you. I hate that you have to go through that.
This is where I took the opportunity to remind Ashley that I wasn’t crazy when I almost bought a cat that had aids. His name was “Sunshine” and he would have been a great conversation starter. Sadly Kevin vetoed it. EVEN THOUGH IT’S TOTALLY NOT TRANSFERABLE TO PEOPLE, KEVIN, I was only going to leave that part out when people are over that I don’t like, or for people who piss me off, like don’t mess with me, my cat has aids. It could totally keep me from being kidnapped.
First off, the cat you painted isn’t ugly. I’m quite jealous of your painting abilities. Second, you gave the cat to Aspen? I think it’s was way cute and you should have kept it, or given it to me instead.
Third, both you AND Diane are going to hell, with the whole “dispose of your ugly babies here”, and now cats.
Oh how I’ve missed your posts Aub. You’re hilarious and you never fail to make me laugh! Glad you’re back!
I love the cat you painted. Its a talent that you have been hiding. Poor Glade. He has been Ashley’s companion for years. Well, I guess he did have to move over for Neil and the kids. Such a beautiful animal. Keep us updated. Love ya.
Not Glade! He must have had one too many Glade’s french fries! Aubrey you crack me up! I have been horrible at keeping up on blogs. Love ya!