Wordly Possessions and Wisdom

I COULD JIMMY UP SOME BULL CRAP EXCUSE about why I haven’t posted my Made Me Laugh Monday post yet. I could say that I was busy (when am I NOT busy? I’m known for being on the go). I could lie and tell you that I had too much work to do, but then you’d see the inside of my house and beg to differ. I could say I was busy working on my new pet site, or AubreyMo.com, and you that you just couldn’t see the changes yet. Or the most classic excuse, I could say that a dog ate my homework.

Does “the dog ate my shoe” count? Yea that’s it. That’s why I haven’t posted. Because of this little critter right here.

He ate my shoe, and I kissed his face. It was a fair trade, straight up.

Now on to the more serious stuffs.

Numero Uno (and yes, I know I spelled that wrong. Shoot me. I’m too lazy to use Dictionary.com right now…or spell check):

No explanation needed. Seriously, I prize my possessions. Just ask any of my sisters. I was the WORST about sharing my clothes, toys, pets and limited edition Lion King paraphernalia (no, not paraphernalia like drugs) when I was little. Did I say was? I meant am. I see things as mine mine mine, and I don’t want to let somebody else enjoy them for the fear that they will break it.

It is a bad trait I am continually working on.

Don’t even think that I’ll start to share cheesecake though.

Dating. Literally.

Remember last weeks’ funny about the blind date? Well. . .I found another example of taking things a little too literally.

Boys. They just don’t seem to get it, do they?

I’ll leave you with a few snippets of Life’s Wisdom.

• The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

• No one is listening until you fart.

• It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. Note to self: Must keep this one in mind.

• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile way and you have their shoes.

• If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. Reminds me of the time I “donated” 10 dollars to the floor at Albertsons. I like to think of it less as losing money and more of making someone’s day.

• Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.